Looking for Heaven
by Obito-Wan Kenobi
Summary: Sakura and Hinata are two girls struggling with their own problems - one of those is falling in love. Modern high school AU. KakaSaku & NejiHina.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Hello! Just a little warning before you start reading. This story explores the taboo and there are some quite dark themes in it. You have been warned. Enjoy!

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Chapter One

**To: Hinata**

**From: Sakura**

**Subject: A confession**

Hinata, I have known you almost all my life, and I feel that I can fully trust you to tell my confession. Please do not judge me for what I'm about to say, because that will only break my heart into pieces since you're the only person I can tell. Also, please keep this to yourself. I don't want anybody else to know.

I am in love with a man fifteen years older than I am. It's not a crush. I know it's not a crush. Crushes only last for a few months. I _really _am in love with him. I've been in love with him since the day I laid my eyes on him.

It happened during the entrance ceremony. The school headmaster was delivering a boring speech, and my eyes were still heavy because I didn't get much sleep the previous night. Before I could close my eyes and quietly fall asleep, the headmaster ended his speech and walked back to his seat. What happened next was a bright shade of gray filling my vision. He awkwardly stood behind the podium, grinning like a fool. Despite the awkwardness radiating from him, I found him irresistibly charming. It was probably because of the sharpness of his jawline, his deep meaningful black eyes, and his gray hair. I thought he was an old man of fifty at first, but I later I didn't find a single trace of wrinkles on his face. There is an air surrounding him that makes you feel attracted to him the moment you set your eyes on him—it has the same effect on the girls at my school, as well. I fell hopelessly in love with him right away.

He teaches Japanese to second year students, as well as first year, but only to some classes. His name is Hatake Kakashi. I often find myself saying his name in my own solitude, my mouth taking a trip on the three syllables that sounds oh so sweet in my ears.

Nothing significant happened throughout my first year of school. I remember cursing at no one particular because he didn't teach my class. But I would always look away whenever I came across him in the hallway. I don't think he noticed me for my pink hair. It's odd because it would usually bring attention to those who sees it.

Then something happened, Hinata.

This spring when I came into the classroom and sat down on my desk in the middle row as a second year student, Hatake-sensei walked in and announced he is my homeroom teacher. My heart was beating so fast I was scared that people could hear. Or maybe I was scared for it to pop right out of my chest. I tried to remain calm, but my face felt like it was burning.

Again, he stood there behind his desk, grinning like an idiot just like when I first saw him. When he called my name for attendance, I felt the warmth from my cheeks slowly crawl down to my stomach, and finally reached my loins. His voice saying my name echoed in my head, and I felt my whole being turning to jelly. I couldn't understand why his voice was able to turn on all of my senses. I could smell the blossoms outside the school building and the hot lunches my classmates had in their bags. I could hear the faint footsteps in the hallway loud and clear. It was a strange experience.

My love for him started out as an innocent, normal schoolgirl crush, but then it developed into something deeper as quickly as the changing of the seasons. And then, I began to lust over him.

I was lying in bed one night and suddenly I remembered the first time he said my name during attendance. I felt tingling sensations between my thighs, and I wondered if that was the feeling my friends liked to talk about. I pictured kissing him, while his fingers trail down my skin and have sex with me. That was the first time I've ever masturbated, and he was on my mind the whole time until I finished.

I'm sorry if that was weird and made you uncomfortable, but I want to come clean to you about everything. So please bear with it.

At times I find myself admiring the tightness of his buttoned down shirt around his chest. I imagine running my fingers there and down to his abdomen. I reach inside his pants and feel his excitement in my hand, and I hear his dark voice saying my name.

Oh my god, I want him. I want him. I want him. I want him.

All these thoughts are slowly destroying me I can't even go to school and look at him in the eye. I've begun to fear of him able to see right through me and know all of my secrets that I've kept so deeply in my heart.

I'm at home right now, instead of being there at school attending classes like any other students should be doing. I haven't been able to sleep these past few weeks ever since I slowly stopped showing up to school. I wouldn't be able to sleep until I confess everything to someone. And you are that someone, Hinata.

I'm sorry if my confessing has somewhat bothered you. If you look at things from a _normal _point of view, you will think that I'm disgusting and perverted for wanting to bang my teacher. Maybe I am disgusting. Maybe I am perverted. But I love him. And I desire him.

Please answer,

Sakura


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

**To: Sakura**

**From: Hinata**

**Re: Subject: A confession**

If I have to be honest, I was taken aback when I read the first few paragraphs of your email. As I continued to read, I began to understand what you must have been feeling. Was I disgusted when you told me you masturbated to your teacher? No. Was I uncomfortable about it? Yes, because I don't talk about sexual things that often. As a matter of fact, I'm completely clueless about it. I had to look up "masturbate" online and the pictures that came up explained it all.

But don't worry. I don't judge you for wanting your teacher. I can understand what you are feeling, Sakura. You love him and you want to call him yours, but you're afraid to admit it to the world because society thinks it's wrong. That kind of love is the hardest of them all, because it is forbidden—especially the age gap you have and your position as his student, he your teacher.

However Sakura, I don't think you should hide in your room and refuse to go to school. I don't think you can even hide in there forever. I understand the fear you have, but I know that you are stronger than that. Besides, it's only him. And he's just a regular human being like you and me.

I'm sorry if this email is short and doesn't please you that much. I don't know what else to say, but I'm always willing to listen to you. I am very glad that you decided to confide your secret to me. Please don't hesitate to write more. I hope you'll be able to sleep and go to school again soon.

Good luck.

Hinata


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Hi, everyone. I'm back with a new chapter. Thank you for reviewing and adding this fanfic to your favourites list. Please enjoy reading this chapter!

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Chapter Three

**To: Hinata**

**From: Sakura**

**Subject: Great news!**

I just got back from a long day of school and from the moment I stepped inside through the front door, I rushed to my room and turned on my computer just to write you this email to tell you all this because I think it will make you happy.

During the weeks I was absent, none of my friends from my class went to visit me and told me to get out. They just texted me and asked me why I wasn't going to school. Not even my dad knocked on my door. It was just mom, begging outside the room for me to open the door to let her help me. But last week mom knocked on my door again, begging as always, then her knocking grew harder and louder and she was basically banging on my door, hoping by doing so it would open. Then she started yelling at me words that, she expected, would bring me down. I've stopped listening to her insulting words about me since I was thirteen. They don't work anymore. Then she stopped bringing food to my door, but that didn't bother me either. I sneak out of the room when she's out to work.

One day, I was lying in my bed in the darkness, thinking of nothing in particular, when I heard Hatake-sensei's gentle voice outside my door. I sat up, wondering if I was starting to hear things. I waited for a while and again, I heard his voice. I thought it was a dream—a cruel dream. I got up and opened the door. I wasn't dreaming. Hatake-sensei was really standing in front of my door with a kind smile on his face.

It turned out my mom called the school and told him about me, and he decided to come to my house to pay me a visit. At first I thought he was there just to maintain his reputation as a teacher, but when I asked him again, he admitted it but also told me he was worried about me. I can still see the sincere smile on his face when he told me that. It still makes my heart race to this day.

He asked me what was bothering me. _Should I tell him?_ I pondered this question many times in my head. I finally told him, rather hesitantly, I was in love with someone, but it's impossible for me to have him, because we are worlds apart. I told him I locked myself up in my room to think about it deeper but it's getting me nowhere. Then he asked me if "that person" went to the same school as me. I nodded my head as an answer. He didn't have a single clue it was him I was talking about. Thank God.

He advised me, with a warm smile on his face, if I wanted to deal with it I had to face the music. Love is not a walk in the park, and hiding in my room won't solve anything. He said something like that, I can't remember.

The words that came out of his mouth reminded me of yours.

I asked him out of curiosity whether he had been in love before. I tried to sound as innocent as I could; hiding any trace of embarrassment or jealousy on my tone.

His eyes darkened, but he still kept his smile plastered on his face, which seemed strained. I wondered if I had asked him a very sensitive question, but I pretended not to notice the sudden change of his expression.

He told me he was in love with a girl once, when he was in junior high school. She had been in love with him for quite a while, but when he finally noticed her, it was too late.

I asked him what happened, thinking that she found another. He frankly told me she died in an accident. The pained look on his face made my heart feel heavy in my chest. I can understand from what he told me, he had decided to close his heart since then. He quickly dismissed it, with a forced smile, saying it was now all in the past, but I know he still thinks about her very often. I experienced a sharp pang of jealousy. It was ridiculous, really, but I couldn't help it.

I felt a little closer to him after he shared with me about his first love. I suppose, I was the first one to know about this because he seemed really embarrassed after telling me about it.

I never thought a kind man, like Hatake-sensei, could be so broken.

I finally went back to school today and everybody was surprised—including Hatake-sensei, but he seemed relieved and glad. Knowing that he cared about me (and his students) was what made me able to go back there.

He called me to the teachers' office during recess. I sat before him by his well-organized desk, and our knees almost brushed against each other. It made my heart flutter.

He expressed to me how happy he was to see me at school. I believed him. The smile on his face was genuine, and he did that habit of closing his eyes when he smiles, especially when he's happy.

I thanked him from the bottom of my heart for visiting and talking to me. I tried my very best not to blush, but I had a feeling my body betrayed me.

He's a very nice human being. I've fallen even more in love with him.

I'll write you again when there are more things I want to tell you.

How about you, Hinata? How are you and your family there? I should probably visit you during the break. I really miss you.

Sakura

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Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Don't forget to leave a review. It will really motivate me to continue this fanfic.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: I've decided to update this fanfic every two weeks (if I'm not busy). Here's another update. It's a bit short, but I hope you'll still enjoy it!

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Chapter Four

**To: Sakura**

**From: Hinata**

**Re: Subject: Great news!**

I really am happy to know that, Sakura! How's school for you now? It's very thoughtful of your teacher to genuinely worry about you. Most would just pretend to maintain their reputations, but not him. You're very lucky!

And as for me? Honestly, I don't know. I couldn't sleep last night. I was scared to fall asleep. I was afraid to have nightmares. The fear was so overwhelming that I almost cried. But in the end, I didn't. I quickly went out of my room and opened the door towards the garden when I was close to breaking down. The cool air prickled my face and fingers, but it didn't bother me. I looked up and was surprised to find the moon beaming in the middle of the sky that night. I had expected for it to be hidden behind the dark clouds.

The moon is my only friend in my loneliest hour. It's always there to keep me company. But when it isn't, the stars are scattered across the sky and shine just for me. That's what my mother told me when I was younger. We liked to gaze at the starry sky every summer and I would always sit on her lap with her arms wrapped around me.

One time when I was seven years old, I felt so alone because my mother just passed away the previous night after giving birth to my sister. I went to the garden with tears running down my face. When I looked up into the night sky, I couldn't believe what I saw. I witnessed a shooting star. It reminded me of my mother's warmth and kindness, somehow. And the thought of her brought happiness back into my heart. I believed it was my mother telling me everything would be all right. I reached out my hands and if I put my mind to it, I could catch the fallen star with my own bare hands. I thought it would bring her back.

Do you remember that time in elementary when I shared to class that my dream was to catch a shooting star? And when the teacher disagreed with my dream and said it was very childish and unrealistic? My father was furious about it. Back then, I didn't understand why. But during recess, that was the first time you ever talked to me. You were so cute with your short pink hair and wide eyes. You looked like a doll.

I think it's a very good idea for you to come visit me and sleep over at my house for a few days over the winter break. I really miss you too. I'm looking forward to it. Let me know when you can.

My father and Hanabi are fine. He's been busy traveling back and forth from our hometown to Tokyo running the corporation. He usually goes back home during the weekend if he's not busy. Some times I wonder why we even moved to the countryside, but then I remember how much my grandparents and father loved this house and I can understand why. It's such a magnificent old house, which was built in late 19th century. There has been many memories made in this house and my father thought it would be a waste if he were to sell it. I quite agree with him.

Everything with Neji-nii-san has been very different lately. I'll tell you about it some other time otherwise this mail will be so long you're too lazy to read it.

Write me again soon.

Hinata

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Author's Note: Please let me know what you think! Be it a positive or negative review, I still appreciate it. Reviews keep me motivated to continue this story. I'll see you guys again in the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed it :D


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Hi, everyone! Sorry for the late update. I've been very busy with school. I'm sorry if it's a short one, but I want to explain Sakura's relationship with her dad. I hope you like it anyway!

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Chapter Five

**To: Hinata**

**From: Sakura**

**Subject: (no subject****)**

Hi, Hinata! Sorry for not writing you the past two weeks. Final exams are around the corner and I've been busy studying and helping out to fix my grades. Now is the only free time I have.

My mark on the Japanese mock exam is the lowest and I had taken remedial tests, but they're still below average. It's funny that I got a bad score on it, because I'm Japanese, but it's not my cup of tea and I find it so difficult, I don't know why. And so, Hatake-sensei made me help him with his work, as a make up for my bad results, everyday until before finals week. Being with him after school hours at the teachers' office is nerve-wracking, but I don't really care. I quite like the thrill rushing up my spine by just being near him.

He usually asks me to help him mark grades, get him coffee, and organize this or that. He some times tells me very lame jokes, but I can't help laughing at how bad they are. They somehow reminded me of my dad's jokes.

Then one time he asked me how my crush was. My whole face turned red and, stammering, I told him he seemed to be doing okay. He is still oblivious that my _crush _is him…but I'd like to remain that way.

I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you felt sad and lonely. I really wished I could give you a hug and talk to you, but I'm glad you felt better after looking at the sky. I feel the same way after looking out my window when I feel down. There's so much to look at from where I stand, such as my neighbor's houses and them walking their dogs. I find it really soothing, like how housewives like to look at jellyfish in the aquarium to calm themselves.

Yes, I do remember that time when we were in grade one and you shared to the whole class you wanted to catch a shooting star. I can still see clearly the admiration on our classmates' faces and the frown on our teacher's face. What was his name? Iruka-sensei? Anyway, I've always admired you since then.

I have the same issues as you. My dad has been neglecting me too. Not just me, but my mom as well. I guess it started some time on the second year of junior high school, around the time after you moved. He used to be a very fun person, making lame jokes and puns, laughing loudly with mom. Then one day he just stopped being that person. He always comes home late at night. He's never at home, but when he is he stays in his study and never goes out. I often woke up in the middle of the night and hear my parents fight. I found out during one of their arguments that he has a mistress. I know my mom wants to leave him, but I guess she's afraid of what everybody will think.

I used to hate the fun side of dad, but after all these years of silence from him, I want the old him back.

How different is your relationship with your cousin, by the way? I want to know.

Oh! I just remembered! I've asked my mom about spending winter break with you and she agreed for me to go, but I have to ask my dad about it. My whole expression changed when she mentioned dad. I hadn't spoken a word to him for a long time, and now I have to ask him for permission to go. I hope he'll let me.

Until next time!

Sakura


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Hey, everybody! How are you all doing? The manga finally ended last week, but what did you guys think of the ending? Honestly, I think Hinata should've become clan leader instead of marrying Naruto. She has so much potential.

Here's the chapter you guys have been waiting for. It has some NejiHina in it, so I hope you'll like it!

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Chapter Six

**To: Sakura**

**From: Hinata**

**Re: Subject: (no subject)**

I understand. Don't worry about it! I've been busy studying too. Good luck with the finals, Sakura!

It seems fun that you've been helping your teacher. Seems like your relationship with him is growing. I've been thinking about you and him, though.

Let's say you're getting closer to Hatake-sensei, and then he starts feeling something deep inside him every time he looks at you. He will be in denial about this at first, but then he finally admits to himself that he is in love with you. He has accepted this and let's pretend he tells you how he feels about you. What will you say to him? If you say yes and date him, it might cost his job as a teacher and he might be punished for it—not to mention isolated from society. You can always do it secretly; however there are chances people will find out. There are so many possibilities, but it will be too long to name all of them. But I do hope for the best for you and him. I really do.

I'm very sorry to hear about your problems with your father. I recall that he was a very lively person, especially every time I came over to your house. Do you have any idea what happened that made him change? In my opinion, I think it's because he is getting older. He feels insecure and seeks comfort in another woman. Yet I still think it's terrible he decided to look for it on his mistress inside of your mother, but try to understand his feelings…and your mother's too.

I often wonder if my life would be different if my mother didn't die after giving birth to Hanabi. Father's heart wouldn't turn so cold, and maybe I would see him smile once in a while directed to me, even though somewhere deep in his heart he still thinks I'm a failure. I wouldn't mind. I just want to see him smile. Unfortunately, I can't change the past. No one can.

One of my earliest memories was meeting my cousin on my third birthday at my grandfather's (my current) house. I remember how sweet he looked at that time and he was always smiling. We often played together every time my parents and I went to visit. Being an only child at that time, I felt lonely and I was always excited to play with him. He was like an older brother to me.

His mother left him and his father. Then some time after Hanabi was born and my mother's passing, his father died. I tried asking my father and grandparents the cause of his death, but they wouldn't say a word to me. My father would yell at me and I would end up crying. What was so wrong for asking, I used to think. I still don't know the reason why. After that, my father decided to completely close his heart and we stopped visiting our family in the country.

Many years later, my grandfather grew ill and father decided for us to move and live at his house. That's when I met Neji-nii-san again. I wasn't particularly excited to meet him again, but I did feel happy. However, he didn't seem to feel the same. Resentment was shown clearly in his eyes. His glare made me feel weak and worthless—it possessed the same power as my father's. I tried to talk to him and get to know him better, but he made it clear he didn't want to talk to someone who wasn't worth his time.

I learned from my father that Neji-nii-san is always at the top of his class. My father told me he wished I could be more like Neji-nii-san—diligent and perfect. I couldn't meet his expectations, causing him to think of me as a failure. I think Neji feels the same way as my father.

School was even more terrible. Everyone bullied me, because of where I come from. They told me my cousin and I are stuck-ups. No matter how hard I try to deny it, they won't listen. Girls would avoid me and mockingly laugh at me when they pass. Boys harassed me. I kept on praying for them to leave me alone, but my prayers didn't come true. I felt abandoned by the gods.

Then a few days ago, I was studying alone in the school library after dismissal and three boys from my class approached me. They pushed my head to my book and told me to get up and follow them. I got up without saying a word and complied.

They led me to a courtyard far behind the school building. The freezing air prickled my skin. I didn't know where we were heading so I forgot wear my coat. Then they started harassing me. I actually did see it coming, but what else could I do? They said they hated how snobby I looked. They called me a stuck-up bitch. They tried to pull up my skirt and open my blouse. The more I told them to stop, the happier they were.

I tried to turn around and run as fast as I could, but a hand gripped my hair and pulled me back. Tears pricked my eyes when he forced me down to my knees and tugged at my hair violently again while they continued to yell at me. I thought my hair would fall off. The snow felt so cold on my bare legs. Their voices are still ringing in my ears as I type these words down.

_Why is this happening to me?_ I thought. I wished I was dead.

All of a sudden Neji-nii-san's hard voice echoed in my ears. It sounded so sweet—I thought I was imagining it. But if I did, why did it have to be his?

I looked up through my tears and saw Neji-nii-san standing tall with his hands planted on his hips. He demanded them to let go of me and promised that no one would get hurt. Of course, they didn't listen. They tugged at my hair harder until a painful shriek came out of my mouth. Then they started insulting him, "You think you're all shit just because you're the president", and they accused him of fucking me, his cousin. They laughed bitterly.

I felt the grip on my hair loosened. All the air that seemed to be sucked out of me filled my lungs again. I remained still on the snow, feeling its sharpness on my palms and legs, while I listened to the sound of punching, kicking, grunting and groaning in pain. I didn't dare look. I felt something warm and wet on my panties. I waited for the snow beneath my legs to turn yellow, but it didn't.

It was all over in a few minutes, and then I heard footsteps running away towards the opposite direction. I felt something warm placed on my back and the tears just stopped. I looked over my shoulder and met Neji's gaze. I couldn't believe my eyes. His usual ice-cold eyes were looking at me softly, almost pitifully. With a gentle voice, he asked me if I was all right. I nodded, astonished. His cheek was bruised, there was a cut on his lower lip, and his neat uniform was crumpled.

With his help, I struggled to my feet, still trembling. I told him that his lip was bleeding, but he played it cool and shook it off, saying it was nothing. I expressed my worry to him, asking him what would happen to him and his position as the student council president after beating those boys up. He said it was nothing for me to worry about and that he would take full responsibility.

"Besides, I don't mind losing it for protecting you." He said.

Ever since that day, I now go to school and come home everyday with him by my side. The way he spoke to me changed. His voice is now gentle every time he talks to me. His gaze is so tender as if one look would make me crash into small pieces. I feel like my chest is about to explode every time I walk beside him, and my cheeks feel so hot. Is this how you feel, Sakura, every time you take a glimpse on Hatake-sensei?

Hinata


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

**To: Hinata**

**From: Sakura**

**Subject: Dad and Hatake-sensei**

I'm sorry that I haven't written to you the past week. Today is the last day of finals, so I didn't have the time to write you back until now, but I did read your email on my phone. I'm really sorry.

By the way, I've asked my dad for permission to visit you. It was hard talking to him at first, because I haven't seen and talked to him in a while. Fortunately, he allowed me to go. I can't wait to see you again! My holiday starts in three weeks. When is yours?

It was the first time in a long time for him to come home early from work. He usually comes home so late at night and leaves so early—some times he doesn't come home at all. So I was happy to see him behind his desk at four in the afternoon. I wanted to hug him and told him I missed him so much, but he felt like a stranger to me. I felt so awkward sitting before him. I couldn't stop fidgeting. The bags under his eyes accentuated his whole feature, making him seem wise. I can understand why women are attracted to him.

I talked to him for a while in his study. He asked me how school was and whether or not I have a boyfriend. I only told him school is fine. I didn't tell him how stressful it is because I was afraid he would lose interest and stop listening. No boyfriend. I asked him about work, and he casually said it's fine too. I'm not sure if he is actually working. Sleeping with his mistress instead.

I brought you up in our conversation and I asked him if I could come and visit you during the holiday. He was confused at first; humorously trying to remember who you were out loud. I smiled at his forgetfulness. His eyes lit up when he finally remembered. My chest felt so warm at the sight of him. He asked me if I had asked mom, and told him I did. He thought about it for a while, and finally allowed me to go. I wanted to jump at him and kiss his face right then and there, but it just didn't feel right.

When I returned to my room, I dropped down to my knees and cried for a really long time, muffling the sobs with my hands. I haven't cried so hard in months. It was then I realized how alone I felt with his absence. I remembered everything when I was younger, when he and I were so close, how happy I was, and how I felt like I belonged with them. Now these feelings are just past memories that will probably never happen again. It made me cry even harder.

The next day, I did the stupidest thing ever. I didn't know what I was thinking, but I waited at school until the sun was about to set for Hatake-sensei to finish his work. I didn't know what was in me that I could wait for so long. We met by the shoes locker, and he was surprised to still see me there.

"What are you still doing here, Sakura?" he asked.

"I wanted to tell you something," I began by telling him how I've felt towards him since the first day of school. I told him how happy I felt when he went to my house and talked me into going back to school.

"I've always wanted to tell you that I love you, Hatake-sensei," I said while looking into his dark eyes, my voice sounding a little bit too loud.

I broke down. It was_ so _embarrassing to cry in front of him, but I couldn't stop. I didn't stop when he called my name. I didn't stop when he held my arms to comfort me. His hands felt so warm.

"Is everything alright, Sakura?" he asked me.

I shook my head no while I wiped my tears.

He didn't say anything after that. He just looked at me as if I was mad. I didn't think he thought of my confession seriously. I felt so betrayed it overwhelmed me. It felt like being dragged down into the deepest part of a swimming pool.

I ran as far away as possible from him, but I didn't hear him call my name and chase after me like in a shitty romance movie. It's real life, but I somehow wished he did.

I didn't go right home after that. I didn't want to see anyone. I stayed at the park in my neighborhood until it got really dark and cold for me to stay out for long. The park is always empty during winter, so it was a good place for me to be alone without being disturbed. I sat on the swing and let the tears that I'd been suppressing during the train ride home fall. I was disappointed. I don't really know how else to describe it, but I was so disappointed. And cold. I wished to be sucked out into the outer space. It wouldn't make a difference if I stopped existing anyway.

At school, I pretended nothing happened—and so did he. But it made me so sad that he did a better job at it than me. He now addresses me by my last name. I stopped helping him out after school, went home right after dismissal and locked myself in my room, either studying—at least tried too—or staring at the ceiling, wishing I didn't exist.

I guess visiting you soon is a good timing for me. I need to get away from this place for a while. I want to go hiking. I hope that's okay with you.

I'll talk to you again soon about our holiday details.

Sakura

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Author's Note: I want to give a little announcement. This is the last update for this year. I'll be back next year after the school break though so don't worry. I hope you guys have a great holiday! Early merry Christmas and a happy new year x

P.S. don't forget to review! It keeps me motivated ^_^


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

People busily walk around the station in a steady pace. Sakura notes to herself, comparing how fast the people walk back at her hometown. A female voice announces a train that has arrived from the speakers. She feels confused and strangely lonely among the bustling crowd. Her eyes shift from one to another, looking for one particular person. She is about to open her phone when she sees her blue-haired friend approaching her with a wide smile on her face, waving.

Sakura lets go of her suitcase and wraps her arms around Hinata tightly, tears brimming on her eyes.

"I'm so glad! I'm so, so glad!" she exclaims. She holds Hinata at arm's length and observes the girl.

Hinata's round face has refined, making her look mature and beautiful. Her cropped dark blue hair now reaches her nicely shaped waists. Her pale lilac eyes are covered with tears of joy. Her breasts are larger and feel firm when pressed against Sakura. She feels a tinge of jealousy.

"Look at you! You're so pretty!" she remarks, grinning.

Hinata blushes daintily. "Thank you, Sakura. You're very pretty too."

Together they walk out of the train station into the cold winter air. Sparkling gems glistened in the sky, falling so delicately to the ground. The whole city, as well as the hills, is covered by snow.

"It's so pretty here!" Sakura remarks, her vibrant green eyes sparkling.

Hinata leads her to her car, where her chauffeur is waiting for them with a warm smile on his face. He puts Sakura's suitcase in the back, and then drove them to the house.

Sakura watches the scene go by before her eyes. The cityscape far behind, and the view of the hills are ahead of them. She raises an eyebrow, confused on where they were heading. Hinata notices the confusion on her face. Smiling, she tells her she lives up in the hills.

"I hope you brought warmer clothes. With this weather, it gets really chilly up there, especially at night." She says.

Hinata lives in a grand traditional two-story house. Tall stonewalls surrounded it, tree branches peek out and reach to touch the cloudy sky, giving an enchanting ambience. She shows Sakura around while the maid brings her things to the guest room. She takes her first down the engawa along the snow-covered garden just outside their rooms.

"It's all green and colorful during spring and summer," she tells Sakura. "But also beautiful in autumn and especially during winter, as you can see."

Then she takes her upstairs to the west side of the house with a beautiful view of the sea. Sakura leans against the windowpane, twinkling eyes scanning the breath-taking view. She can even see the city from where she stands.

"You live in a very beautiful house, Hinata. It's like something out of a fairytale!"

Hinata smiles warmly and politely thanks her.

"I like living here. It's very peaceful. It's as if you can forget all your troubles just by looking at the view and breathing in the fresh air."

Sakura takes deep breaths, filling her polluted lungs with the cool fresh air of the countryside. Slowly, her troubles seemed to be melting away as she watches the waves crashing onto another. They remain standing there for a while without saying a word.

Hinata then introduces her to Hanabi and Neji. Sakura's first impression on them is that they look alike. They have the same dark hair and the same stoic expression on their faces. She can't believe Hinata and Hanabi are sisters. Hinata looks kind and gentle, whereas Hanabi is serious. She looks more like Neji.

"Where is your dad?" Sakura quietly asks as they walked to her room.

"Father is out on a business trip until next week." Hinata answers. "So don't worry about him. We have the whole place to ourselves."

"That's good." She sighs softly, relieved.

Her room is right next to Hinata's with the view of the garden she first showed her. She was impressed at how wide and spacious her room was. It felt like sleeping in a five-star hotel.

"I'm sure you must be exhausted from your trip," Hinata says. "You should get some rest. If you need anything, just come to me next door."

She thanks Hinata before retreating to the guest room, sliding the door close. The beauty surrounding her overwhelms her. She doesn't know how long it has been since she felt that way—or perhaps never.

* * *

Sakura feels somehow relieved when it is just her, Hinata and Hanabi during dinner. She would have felt awkward if Neji was there with them, because she's aware of Hinata's arousing feelings for her cousin. He went out with his friends instead of joining them for dinner.

Hanabi is a girl of eleven. She has beautiful dark brown hair, her long bangs parted in the middle. Her wide lilac eyes gleam coldly, which makes her seem unapproachable. She keeps her questions and answers short. Her voice sounds strained for an eleven-year-old girl. Sakura feels slightly intimidated being in the same room with her.

That night after dinner, Sakura and Hinata sit under the _kotatsu _in the living room while it gently snows outside. The strong smell of incense emits from the family altar hanging down the ceiling. Hinata, who learns tea ceremony on her free time, serves Sakura tea. Sakura senses warmth and joy spreading through her veins after the first sip. She feels as if she has new sets of bones during the third.

"What would you like to do tomorrow?" she asks.

Hinata sets her cup down on the table, and looks up to think, biting her lower lip.

"There's a nice little café in town that I've been wanting to go," she says softly. "We can go window shopping too."

"Sounds like a plan." Sakura grinned.

Her vibrant emerald eyes look around the spacious living room. A cabinet that holds plates, bowls, and utensils used in tea ceremony stands next to the sliding door behind Hinata.

"Sakura," Hinata's soft voice suddenly breaks the silence, "can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"It's been a while since I've had such a good time. I've almost forgotten completely about that feeling."

Sakura's gaze softened, a small smile crossed her face. "Don't you at least have one friend at school that you can talk to?"

She shakes her head, strands of dark blue hair fall off her shoulder.

"Why?" Sakura asks, worried.

"Because they're scared of my father, I think." Hinata answers, her face remaining straight.

She raises her eyebrows and breaks into a laugh. "That's ridiculous!"

Hinata heartily joins her, covering her mouth with a hand.

"You're kidding, right?" Sakura asks to make sure.

She nods her head, still laughing, but it sounds forced. "I guess they won't talk to me because of where I come from and my father's achievements. It's strange, because I go to a private school and almost everybody there is a snob, yet they think I'm the snobbiest of them all when it's not true." She pauses for a moment, licking her dry lips.

"They some times hold their noses while they walk past me, sneering 'Something reeks over here.' Some even dare to harm me, like that time with those boys at the back of the school building." She continues.

Sakura feels anger swelling inside her. She tries to wash it down with the warm tea, but it still doesn't work. She has the strong urge to go to Hinata's bullies' houses and beat them until they're dead. They deserve it for hurting her best friend.

"Aren't the teachers doing anything?" she asks, frowning.

Hinata slowly shakes her head. "Maybe they don't notice it. But if they do, I guess they're ignoring it. I don't think they're interested in their students' problems unless it involves studying."

Sakura's frown deepens. "Have you tried talking about it with your homeroom teacher? Or a guidance counselor?"

"I plan to, but I can never leave the classroom and I always go home straight after school." She says, her voice barely audible. "I'm scared they will think it's nothing and dismiss me." She looks up and meets Sakura's hard gaze, blushing. "I'm sorry for dumping all of this to you."

Sakura's gaze softens and flashes her friend a warm smile. "It's okay. It's better than bottling them up, right?"

Hinata nods. "I suppose you're right. Thank you for listening, Sakura."

"No problem, Hinata. After all, you're my best friend."

Hinata looks at her as if she was about to cry of relief, which makes the strings tug at Sakura's heart.

"You are my best friend, too, Sakura."

They talk for two hours without stopping. They talk about whatever they have in their heads, throwing jokes once in a while. There's always a comfortable break of silence between them as they silently wonder what else to talk about.

Sakura tenses when Hinata mentions school. She knows Hinata is careful not to bring up Hatake-sensei, but school reminds her of him. With a strained smile she tells Hinata that school is fine and she's glad that exams are over.

"But come to think of it, I now have university entrance exams to worry about," a sigh parts from her lips.

"What will you take, Sakura?" Hinata asks, crossing her arms on the table.

"Medicine. I want to be a doctor." She says, eyes twinkling.

"That's amazing! I'm sure you'll be an excellent one." Hinata says with wide admiring eyes.

She chuckles. "What about you, Hinata?"

Hinata tilts her head to the side, pursing her lips tightly in thought. She straightens and gives Sakura a bashful smile. "Literature, maybe."

Sakura realizes she now has only a year left to see Hatake-sensei around school before she goes to university. The fact that she will no longer see his warm smile and him casually reading adult books in front of her, his strong masculine fragrance won't fill her lungs, and feel the warmth of his hands ever again makes it so painful for her heart to beat suddenly.

"This is my last year in high school and it will also probably be the last time I see Hatake-sensei," she begins slowly, her voice strained. "He and I were getting along so well. It was stupid of me to tell him I love him. Now he doesn't even want to talk to me. I messed up really bad."

She buries her face in her hands and breaks down in tears. She hears the quick shuffling of Hinata's feet. Hinata gently rubs her small hand on her back and holds her to comfort her.

She cries for a long time, but Hinata doesn't leave her side. When she's done, her face remains in her wet palms as she takes deep breaths to calm herself down. She raises her head and looks at Hinata with red eyes and a faint smile.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cry that much."

Hinata warmly smiles back at her. "It's alright. Do you feel better now?"

"A little bit. But I might feel sad again tomorrow, though."

"It's okay. I'm here for you, Sakura."

Her lips tremble and small tears stream down her face once again. She is truly lucky and grateful to have Hinata as her friend.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey, everyone. Sorry for the delay, I was hospitalized for two weeks so I couldn't update. But now I'm back and I'll still stick with updating every two weeks. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

The following day Hinata takes Sakura around town, visiting famous landmarks as well as window-shopping. They rest in a cozy café Hinata mentioned the night before when their feet hurt after walking too much and are dying for warmth. They sit on a table by the window. Fat drops of rain fall from the gray skies.

Sakura seems to be enjoying the comfortable silence, sipping her hot chocolate, when Hinata asks a surprising question with her usual soft voice. Sakura has to ask for her to repeat the question again and leans closer to hear well.

"Have you ever been jealous of someone?" she asks hesitantly.

Sakura cocks her head slightly to one side, looking at her bashful friend with a raised eyebrow. "Why the sudden question?"

Hinata blushes and stammers a quiet reply, "I was just wondering," turning her face away.

"Nothing comes to my mind if you ask me that all of a sudden," she says. "Why do you ask?"

"I have only been jealous twice in my life. The first time, I'm jealous of Hanabi. I'm jealous of her because she can prove herself she is—" Hinata pauses, her eyebrows knitting together. "She is everything father wants her to be. And as for me, I'm a disappointment to his eyes despite my hard work."

She licks her chapped lips and clears her throat before continuing. "The second time, jealousy has been rising deep inside me on a girl who is close to Neji-nii-san."

Sakura motions for her to continue.

"She was in the same class with him for two years, and I always see her together with him and another senior. The three of them seem pretty close, I was actually surprised that Neji-nii-san can get along well with others." Hinata shoots a glance at Sakura. "But when the other isn't around, she talks and laughs with him playfully while touching his arm so casually once in a while."

Sakura puts on a confused look on her face, which Hinata notices.

"It's impossible for me to talk and laugh with Neji-nii-san so freely," she explains. "I'm scared he will say something terrible to me or even look at me with such a hateful look, and that will tear me to pieces. I-I…I just can't."

"I thought you are starting to get along well with him?" Sakura asks before sipping her hot beverage.

"Yes, but there's still tension between us. I don't know how to describe it to you. And besides, he seems to have more fun with her than with me." She lowers her sad gaze and swallows. "I know it's wrong, but I'm in love with him."

She feels her hand on the table being squeezed. She looks up and Sakura flashes her a warm, gentle smile.

"I know how you feel."

A faint smile graces Hinata's sweet face and she squeezes Sakura's hand back. "All I've been thinking about is Neji-nii-san ever since that incident with the boys from my class. I just can't believe he actually cares about me, and I haven't even thanked him properly yet."

"You should buy him something as a token of gratitude," she suggests. "Or how about this, after we're back from here you go right up to him and thank him for saving you."

Hinata's face flushes daintily. "D-do you think I can do it?"

"Of course you can! Just say thanks and tell me what happens after that. Deal?"

The corners of her lips widen into a broad smile. "Deal."

* * *

Neji isn't home when they got back from the café after waiting for the rain to slowly stop. Hinata asks Hanabi where he is and she tells her he left with his friends and probably won't return until late at night.

"I think there's a class farewell party or something," Hanabi adds.

Hinata thanks her younger sister before telling Sakura he's away and retreating to her bedroom.

She lays on the tatami, pale eyes fixed on the ceiling, as she spends an hour or more thinking of the words to say her thanks to him. After dinnertime, she asks Sakura for advice, but it still doesn't help.

She takes a nice long bath after that, soaking her weary body in the hot water. Leaning her head against the cold tile wall, her mind drifts off thinking about Neji. She wonders if he is having a good time with his friends and classmates, and chuckles softly at the thought of it. She pictures him influenced by alcohol, smiling and laughing, being out of character. She imagines him stumbling to her room and pins her down so she can't move.

_What are you doing, Neji-nii-san? _She would ask.

He shuts her up by kissing her hard and passionately on the lips, and she can taste the alcohol on his tongue. His hands roam her body, feeling up her breasts as he licks her neck.

She shakes her head with her eyes tightly shut, bringing her back from her thoughts. She feels a strange sensation on her lower regions. She squeezes her thighs tightly to relieve it, but it still doesn't work. She immediately gets out of the tub, blaming the heat of the water for thinking such thoughts.

She comes to Sakura's room and talks with her, laughing and recounting old memories of them as children. Sakura has brought a photo album from her house filled with pictures of them when they were younger. Hinata regards the pictures slowly, laughing at them when half of their teeth were missing. They both still had child-like sparks on their eyes.

"We've changed a lot since then," Hinata remarks nostalgically, her eyes never leaving the pictures.

Sakura agrees.

Hinata retires to her room when she feels like she is getting tired. Laying in her warm futon, she finds it hard to fall asleep. It is as if the heaviness on her eyes has faded. She tries to read a book to pass the time, but it seems like she's reading a foreign language. She ends up lying on her back, eyes scanning at the details on the ceiling, as she lets her mind wonder from one thought to another. Slowly, her eyes start to close and she falls asleep to the thought of her cousin.

She is awakened by the sound of footsteps outside her room. She sits straight in her futon and sees a silhouette of a person on her screen door. Her heart leaps to her throat. She rises from her futon slowly and measures her steps towards the door. She is frightened. Who can that be outside her room in the middle of the night? With trembling hands, she quietly slides the door open and peeks out. She feels her whole body feeling faint and her head spinning when she realizes it is Neji standing outside her room.

"I thought you were a ghost," she says, clutching at the cloth of her shirt above her hammering heart.

The full moon and the stone lanterns illuminated the engawa and the garden. She felt there was something missing, and it was the sound of cicadas ringing in her ears. She can see a faint smile tugging at his lips.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes. "Did I wake you?"

She fingers the collar of her pajama shirt and nods her head slowly. She wonders what he's doing standing outside her room, scaring her like that.

"Did you just arrive, Neji-nii-san?" she asks instead.

"Yes." He answers. "Sorry. I'll go to my room now."

He is about to turn to his heels and walk away when she tells him to wait, her voice ending up louder than she intends it to be. He turns his gaze to her face and waits for her to speak.

Even in the poorly lighted place, his pale lilac eyes are still able to look right through her. She feels naked under his gaze—as if all her emotions and darkest secrets are revealed just by one look. She then remembers the thought she had in the bath. She averts her gaze away from him, blushing.

"I didn't get the chance to thank you properly," she finally says after a long moment of pause.

"Thank me?"

"For that time when you saved me."

A rare chuckle escapes from his lips. It sounds so nice in her ears to hear him laugh like that, even though it is directed to her.

"You don't have to thank me, Hinata," he says, smiling. "I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

She feels all the blood rushing to her cheeks and her heart pounds hard against her ribcage. She cannot feel the cold wooden floor beneath her feet.

"Did you have a good time with your friend today?" he asks.

She shyly looks up at him, beaming. "I certainly did. And how about you, Neji-nii-san?"

"I had a good time too, but I'm really tired so I went home early."

"Is that so?" she turns her head to look at the clock hanging on her wall. It was a little past eleven. "You should go and rest, then."

"You should sleep too. I'm sorry for startling you." He says, his smile still in place. "Good night."

"Good night, Neji-nii-san."

She flashes him a warm smile. She remains standing outside her door as she watches him walk away towards his room on the end of the engawa. The whole time she wishes for him to turn back and smile at her before going inside his room, but he never did.

* * *

Author's Note: Hi, everyone! Sorry for the late update. I couldn't open at home, but now I'm back to school. Don't forget to leave a review! I will really appreciate your thoughts.


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note: Hi, everyone! Sorry it took quite a while for me to update. I was short on ideas, but all is fine now. So here it is, chapter ten!

* * *

Chapter Ten

"Neji-nii-san might join us for today. Is that okay?"

Sakura looks at her friend, standing before her with her cheeks a bright shade of red.

Both of them plan to hike that morning. Sakura is truly excited to go see the woods near Hinata's house, despite the cold weather. When Hinata tells her that Neji might want to come, she doesn't really know what to feel. She doesn't know him that well. However, looking at her best friend's flushed face makes it hard to complain. Besides, maybe she can get to know him through this hike.

"Of course, Hinata." Sakura smiles genuinely.

Hinata's pale eyes sparkle. Seeing this makes Sakura's heart flutter.

"Oh, yeah, how about Hanabi?" she asks.

"She wants to stay at home. She's not really in the mood to go out."

"Oh…that's okay, then. It'll be just the three of us!"

Sakura is dressed warm enough for the weather. Her dark green parka with fur lining on the hood covers the black sweater she is wearing. She wears her dark blue jeans with leggings underneath it, and she puts on her black knee-high boots. She is ready to go.

"Let's go!" says Hinata enthusiastically when they meet up on the entrance.

The moment they walk out of the house, the cold air pierces through Sakura's multiple layers of clothes and she begins to shiver. She tries her best to ignore the weather as they walk up the hill towards the woods.

Slim fingers of the pale sunbeam touch Sakura's vibrant emerald eyes. She inhales the cool air inside her lungs and exhales, feeling as calm as Buddha. They walk up along the trail leading up towards the hills. After a long hike, ever so softly the snowflakes fall from the sky and land upon the cold ground. Sakura looks up to see them fall and sighs in awe.

She continues to walk behind Hinata and Neji, giving a safe distance from the two of them, but close enough to hear them talk.

"It's such a lovely weather, don't you think, nii-san?" she asks with her infamous gentle voice.

"It sure is, Hinata."

Sakura finds herself being frustrated on the two of them. Walking behind them makes her imagine how cute it would be if they were to hold hands as they walk together along the trail, while it is snowing. It is a very romantic fantasy, and despite how badly she wants it to happen she knows how timid Hinata is and how she wouldn't dare to even touch her cousin's shoulder.

She listens to the soft sounds of the crushing of the snow beneath their feet. Her mind lingers back to Hatake-sensei, and how nice it would be if he were with her as they walk together in the forest like this.

After taking a long hike along the hill, they stop at a clearing with tall, slim trees surrounding them. Their gazes are fixed on the gloomy sky. Not long ago, the sun was shining bright, but now it is snowing heavily.

"I can get used to living in a place like this," Sakura remarks with a faint smile playing on her lips.

She imagines building a large mansion next to the woods. She pictures herself sitting while sipping a hot beverage and looking out the window to appreciate the gods' masterpiece. This imaginary place of hers will be covered in snow for months, and she would call it the Winter Wonderland. Along with this fantasy, she pictures herself with Hatake-sensei, enjoying a peaceful morning.

A bead of tear trickles down the side of her face, which she quickly wipes away before either Hinata or Neji can notice. What's the point of thinking about Hatake-sensei when in the end it only makes her cry? Despite realizing this, a part of her still wants her relationship with him to be like what it used to. Another part knows that it will never be the same ever again.

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry if it's a bit short. I promise the next chapter will be a bit longer. Thank you for reading and don't forget to leave a review!


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: Hi, guys! Sorry for the delay, but finals are finally done! Here is chapter eleven, as promised. Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Chapter Eleven

Despite standing quite far from where Sakura is, Hinata can notice the grim look on her pink-haired friend's face. She contemplates on asking her what is wrong, but something tells her not to. She feels stuck on her own body. She is torn between wanting to comfort Sakura and pretending not to notice—due to her delusional fear of Sakura rejecting her.

In the end, she decides to pretend not to notice and turn to Neji instead. She shyly looks at him from beneath her thick, dark lashes, and smiles to herself. He is walking slowly around the clearing with his gaze fixed on the sky. He doesn't seem to be wanted to be disturbed, so she leaves him be.

She glances at Sakura to see that she is approaching her with her hands inside her pockets.

"How are you doing?" Hinata asks.

A faint smile crosses Sakura's lips. "I'm doing fine. Why?"

Her lips form a thin line as she considers telling Sakura of her worries towards her. Sakura's vibrant emerald eyes are softly looking into her pale ones. Maybe it won't hurt her from sharing.

"Nothing, you just seemed…sad a little while ago."

"Oh, that!" she laughs half-heartedly. "It was nothing. I was just thinking about university."

Hinata detects the lie spilling out of her mouth. However, she doesn't want to press her for telling the truth, fearing that it will only make her feel worse. Somewhere in her gut, she knows it's about her teacher.

"I share the same worries as you, Sakura." She smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

"Aren't you going to talk to your cousin?" Sakura says with a small voice, a smirk playing on her lips.

Hinata's face immediately flushes and she starts to fidget, avoiding eye contact from her pink-haired friend.

"Um…I…" she stammers. "I don't know…what to say to him."

"Talk to him about anything. I'm sure you can do it."

She considers Sakura's suggestion, her eyes fixed on the snow beneath their feet. She glances at Neji, who is approaching the two of them. She quickly turns back to Sakura with a nervous look on her face.

"You can do it." Sakura reassures her once again.

Hinata remains looking at her friend, still uncertain, when suddenly she hears Neji's voice behind her.

"Shall we go now? The temperature is dropping." He suggests to the two of them.

"S-sure." Hinata manages to say before turning to her friend. "Do you want to go now, Sakura?"

"Yes, please. It's freezing!"

The three of them walk down the path, which they used an hour ago to get to the clearing. Neji and Hinata are walking behind Sakura with a safe distance between them.

"Are you looking forward to go to university, nii-san?" Hinata asks him, breaking the silence weighing between them.

"Yes, quite." He says. "Why do you ask?"

"Nothing. It just seems very exciting that you're about to go to university in a different city."

"You have one year left of high school and soon you'll be away, too." He reminds her.

She fixes her gaze on the track beneath them as she walks a steady pace. "Yes, but a year seems so long."

"You won't even feel a thing until it's already happened." He says. "Before you know it, you're about to step into campus on your first day and you'll realize how much you've missed. Cherish every moment, because it will all pass right before your very eyes."

Hinata takes his words on to her mind quite seriously and deeply. He is right, though. Life has passed before her very eyes without her realizing it. She thinks that it was only a moment ago when she is holding her mother in her small arms. It was only a moment ago when Neji hated her with all his guts. And now, she is walking down the trail with him, whom she has fallen head over heels for.

"Do you have any regrets, nii-san?"

It takes him a while for him to answer her question, but when he does it surprises her on an ocean deep level.

"My only regret is treating you the way I treated you before. I've probably caused your life more misery to add on top of others, and I sincerely regret that. I wish I'd treated you nicer than that. You deserve to be happy, Hinata."

Hearing these words come out of his mouth, she feels like wanting to hold him in her arms and tell him that it's okay, that she has forgiven him for all the things he had done to her, that she doesn't hold a grudge on him. But her body feels heavy and it seems as though her lips have been stitched together. She cannot do anything but be silent.

* * *

Author's Note: Let me know what you think of this chapter. Hope you guys have a great weekend!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

After spending a week at Hinata's place, hiking and hanging out at coffee shops, Sakura finally returns home, convincing herself that she feels rejuvenated as if she is a different person. She goes back to school two weeks later, wearing her school uniform proudly and striding the hallways with a warm smile tugging at her lips. She attends Hatake-sensei's classes normally and faces him bravely as if nothing ever happened. However, she often feels exhausted the moment she sets foot in her home. Faking to be fine takes a lot of energy for her. After throwing her bag to the floor, she drags her legs to her desk and opens her email to reply Hinata's message.

_I feel so much better after visiting you_, she types. She is half lying and half telling the truth. She cannot decide between the two.

She often takes long walks around the neighborhood when she isn't tired without saying a word to her mother. Her hands are always buried inside her sweater pockets, and her eyes gaze at everything in sight. She usually ends up in the neighborhood park, sitting on a swing too short for her long legs, as she thinks about everything she can think about. She likes to stare at the changing pastel sky, pondering over ways to get over Hatake-sensei. But recently, she has been thinking often about her upcoming birthday.

Her friends have been endlessly asking her about her birthday, whether she is planning to throw a party and invite the whole class or not. She can only say she hasn't thought about it yet with a small smile, even though she wants to jump out of the window every time they ask. It seems terrifying for her that she's about to turn seventeen in a week. Without realizing it, sixteen years of her life has passed before her very eyes and she hasn't done anything worth to be proud of. She's almost an adult, which means university entrance exams and endless responsibilities. Tears drop from her eyes every time she thinks about the times that are gone. She wishes to be a child again when all she did was play, take naps, and being happy in general.

_I find it terrifying that I'll be seventeen soon. I've slowly begun to lose interest in anything I used to find interesting. Is this what it means to grow up?_

She stares at the words she has typed on the computer screen, mulling whether to delete this whole sentence. She takes deep breaths and clicks send.

Eventually she decides to throw a birthday party on Friday after school at her house. She invites all her classmates, as well as Hatake-sensei. It was nerve-wracking for her to approach him in the teachers' office and give him an invitation to her party.

"I hope you can come, Hatake-sensei," she blushes.

He replies with an unpromising smile, "I'll try to."

* * *

All of her classmates have arrived at her house, but there are no signs of him. She is restless throughout the party. She opens the door and peers over her gate for signs of Hatake-sensei every minute. Her mind is some place else when a classmate tries to strike a conversation with her. She feels as if she is about to burst in tears over the fact that he isn't there when she's about to blow her candles—neither is her dad.

She stares blankly at the seventeen candles on her birthday cake, hands resting at the chair before the table, while her friends and mom sing the birthday song for her. She closes her eyes and wishes to see Hatake-sensei on that day and for everything to be fine with him again before blowing the candles. Everyone claps their hands and cheers, oblivious of her desperate wish.

She walks everyone out the door when the party is over. It's around ten o'clock in the evening, and it is a chilly night. The wind is blowing pretty strong and the dark clouds cover the moon.

"What's the matter with you today, Sakura?" Ino asks her as they walk out of the house together. "You seem to be a bit…out of place."

"I don't know," she says, running her fingers through her pink hair. "Maybe because today is my birthday. Thinking about it scares the hell out of me."

"Who knows that being seventeen is not so bad," Ino suggests, trying to lighten up her friend's mood. "You'll get used to it, anyway, right?"

"I guess you're right." She forces a smile and gives her blonde friend a tight hug. "Thank you so much for coming."

"It's my pleasure, Sakura," Ino hugs her back before walking away. "Happy birthday!"

"Have a safe trip home!" she says, waving her hand at her.

She stays outside her house for a moment with her arms crossed in front of her chest. She is about to turn around and walk back inside when she hears Ino's loud voice addressing to…Hatake-sensei! She feels her heart leap to her throat, and freezes in place. She walks out through the gate and sees Ino talking to him. She cannot believe what she's seeing.

"You missed the party, sensei!" Ino says, chuckling.

Sakura cannot hear what he replies to Ino, but her eyes widen when he approaches her. He wears a dark gray coat over his suit, and tucked under his arm is a present wrapped in green. He has an embarrassed, apologetic smile on his face when he stands before her, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

"Sorry I'm late," he says, laughing awkwardly. "Work kept me up at school and I rushed to pick a present, so here it is."

She feels the tears brimming on her eyes as she takes the present from him, thanking him with a faltered voice. She clears her throat.

"Is everything okay, Sakura?" he asks, his voice turning serious and concerned.

"Yeah," she says, wiping the tears with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry, do you want to go inside and have a slice of cake?"

"It's all right, I still have some work to do," he smiles, "but thank you anyway."

She stares at the present on her hands, tears forming again.

"I thought you wouldn't come." She manages to say, her voice hoarse.

"What made you think so?" he asks, shoving his hands inside his coat pockets, oblivious.

She shrugs. "You don't talk to me as much as you used to. As if I never told you how I feel about you. You didn't even show up when I was about to blow my candles."

She cannot hold the tears back anymore. She lets them drop from her eyes, landing on the back of her hand and upon the gift wrapper.

"I thought you hated me." She continues, keeping her voice in check so her mom won't hear from inside.

He doesn't answer. He remains standing in front of her with his hands in his pockets. She feels like she's talking to air. She forces herself to take a leap forward and look at him straight in the eyes. Jade meets onyx.

"If you hate me then why don't you say so?" she demands, tears streaming down her face.

His eyes and face are a blank. She wonders what he must be thinking while she cries right in front of him. Does he want to dismiss it and walk away from her again? Does he want to slap her in the face and tell her to stop being so ridiculous and childish?

Finally after a long moment, he takes his hands out of his pockets and his gaze warms up.

"I don't hate you, Sakura," is the only thing he says, his voice low and kind.

She wants to ask him, _Then why did you stop talking to me? Why did you ignore me? _But she cannot bring herself to say those words. It feels like there's a stone on her tongue and her lips are stitched together. She swallows the lump in her throat and looks down at the present in her hands.

"I'm sorry if I've hurt you," he says again. "I really didn't mean to."

She purses her lips to hold back her sobs.

"I hope you'll forgive me."

Taking deep breaths, she opens her mouth and looks at him straight in the eye once again.

"Then how do you feel about me, sensei?" she asks him.

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Author's Note: Finally some KakaSaku interaction!


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Note: Hey, everyone! I have a little announcement. Summer break is already here, so I wouldn't be updating regularly since the internet at my house blocked , BUT I will try to update if I get the chance. Anyways, carry on.

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Chapter Thirteen

The bell ringing pierces Hinata's ears as she snaps out of her daydream. She doesn't realize that she has been staring off into space for the whole period of class when she watches her teacher walk out of the classroom, trailing behind a group of her classmates. She is left alone to tidy her desk and put her books and stationary into her bag. She doesn't notice the group of four girls, known to be the bitchiest and meanest ones in the entire school, lingering inside the classroom when they approach her desk with hands planted on their hips.

"Hyuuga bitch," one of them calls her.

She looks up at them nervously, fear is written clearly across her face. She is actually used to people calling her names, but when those girls suddenly called her, she can't help her hands from trembling.

She takes a moment to look at the classroom to find it empty but her and them.

"Y-yes?" she responds gingerly.

"Come with us." A girl with perfect orange hair orders, whose name is Saotome Suki—known to be the leader of the group.

A short flashback of the last time Hinata was told to come with a group of boys only to be abused flashes before her very eyes, and her knees start to feel weak. She hugs her bag tightly around her arms. Her pale eyes fall to their feet. She shakes her head slowly and murmurs a no.

"No?!" Saotome repeats and an obnoxious laugh follows. Her friends join her with their own revolting laugh. "Who do you think you are, you little bitch? When I tell you to come with us, you come!" She grabs Hinata to stand and pushes her against the nearest wall, making her drop her bag.

Hinata releases a helpless squeal as she is pressed against the wall with Saotome's hand on her neck to keep her from moving. All Hinata can think is why is this still happening to her? She wants all of this to stop. She wishes Neji is there to save her again.

"Listen, you Hyuuga bitch." Saotome starts with a voice full of malice, her perfect pretty face close to Hinata's. "I want you to go downtown and meet this wonderful man who is just _dying _to see you. Care to do that for us?"

Hinata tries to pry Saotome's arm from her, but it only makes her press it even tighter. She cannot breathe. Her heart is hammering against her chest. Tears are threatening to fall from her eyes.

"If you don't do as I say, I will tell the whole school that you've been fucking Sarutobi-sensei then you probably will be expelled and humiliated for your entire life. Deal?"

It isn't true that Hinata has been having an affair with one of her teachers. Yet it is true that she has been quite close to him, but in a friendly way. He helps her with the homework, which he assigned. Besides, he already has a wife and a small daughter.

She doesn't know what else to do. She doesn't want to comply to Saotome's order, but at the same time she doesn't want to be humiliated for the rest of her life. She cannot imagine how her life will be until Saotome spreads the rumor. She doesn't want to be expelled. She doesn't want Sarutobi-sensei to be fired or—even worse—locked up in jail. She doesn't want him to lose his beautiful wife and child.

After realizing that there is no one to save her this time, she lets go off her grip on Saotome's arm and finally agrees to their wish.

A devious smirk plays on Saotome's lips. She pulls out a piece of paper from her her pocket and shoves it to Hinata's chest. Hinata takes it from her hand and reads the characters written on the paper. It is an address, which she knows very well. It is a love hotel on the red light districts of her town.

"His name is Akasuna Sasori. Meet up with him tonight in front of the hotel at seven. Also, don't change your clothes." With that, Suki and her friends leaves Hinata alone in the empty classroom.

She sinks down on to the floor, presses her face on to her hands and cries.

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Author's Note: Just a little warning, though, that it will get darker for Hinata in future one or two chapters. Anyway, thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave a review.

P.S. Next chapter will have KakaSaku in it! ^_^


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Note: Hi, everyone. I hope you guys still remember that this fanfic exists. I'm sorry for the really long update. I really am. I was busy with my final year in high school, and I lost interest in continuing. But then the motivation to continue this fanfic came back around a month ago. Anyways, I'll let you read the new chapter of this fanfic. Have fun.

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Chapter Fourteen

Listen: the sound of crickets fills the air.

Sakura has her gaze fixed into the darkness ahead of her while she pays attention to the rising of her stomach as she takes each breath. She often glances at the time on her phone screen, anxiously waiting for her eyes to close and quietly drift into a deep sleep.

She can hear the invisible clock tick. Its sound reverberates in her head, washing out the sound of the crickets outside her house. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Over and over again. She is hypnotized by its sound. Time was slowly running out.

"_Then how do you feel about me, sensei?"_

Cringing, she forces the memory out of her mind for good. Unfortunately, it doesn't do any justice. No matter how hard she tries to shake it off, it will creep its way back and make her squirm all over again.

"_I can't really tell you anything for now, Sakura. Yes, I've been distant, but that's because I don't want anything bad to happen."_

Frustrated, she runs her delicate fingers through her pink hair and opens her phone to check the time.

Two-fifteen and she isn't sleepy yet.

Grumbling, she gets up from her bed and stretches her stiff muscles. She hadn't taken off the white cotton dress she wore during the party. Just as she is about to grab her hoodie on top of the chair, she looks at the present Hatake-sensei gave her just hours ago. She hasn't opened it yet and doesn't plan to. She quietly slips out of her room.

The hallway is dark and she can hear her mom's loud snore coming from the other room. She measures her steps towards the front door downstairs, careful to not make a sudden noise that can arouse her mom from sleep.

The sound of the lock turning pierces through the still night air. She freezes in place; ear sticking up to still hear her mom's snore. She slips into her shoes before sneaking out through the door.

Once she's outside, she runs down the empty street as if a ghost is chasing her. Panting heavily, she doesn't know where to go. She keeps on running and running, wherever her feet are taking her. Her heart pounds against her ribcage.

The town on a night of March is very dark and chilly, despite the illumination of the streetlamps. Anxiety swells up inside her with each step she takes into the darkness before her. She doesn't dare look back, fearing there's someone or _something_ following her.

Thunder echoes throughout the edges of the sky. Fat drops of rain gradually fall to the ground. She pulls the hood over her head.

Finally, bright lights blind her eyes. Cars are passing by. Sakura spots a 24-hour fast food restaurant sign a few buildings away just across the street. She rushes to it beneath the pouring rain.

The warmth of the restaurant and the worker welcome her happily as if she had just returned from a long war. Standing by the door, she looks around the place. It is deserted but an old man hunching over his table, arm propped up against his face.

Putting her hands in her pockets, she realizes she had forgotten to bring money. She inwardly groans and curses herself. The thought of bringing money never once crossed her mind.

She stands awkwardly on the entrance, flashing a small smile at the cashier, who is expectantly looking at her. She glances around anxiously before looking back at the old man sitting alone. Her heart skips a beat. His gray, unkempt hair, and the clothes he wears seem familiar to her. She freezes in place, not knowing what to do.

She decides to run as far as she can in the pouring rain. As she is about to turn on her heel, the man looks at her direction and their eyes meet. Her gut isn't wrong. Hatake Kakashi is looking right at her with a weary face. He suddenly lights up and his lips curve into a small smile, his hand waving at her. Her hand rises up and waves back at him without her realizing it. It's too late to run away now.

Her feet start moving on their own toward him. She tries her best to walk normally, especially under his soft gaze, making sure not to make any awkward movements.

"What are you doing here?" she asks him out of curiosity, standing by his table with her hands behind her back.

"I should ask you the same thing since you're a sixteen-year-old girl and the city at night is very dangerous." He replies with the tone he usually uses to his students.

She pushes a wet strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm seventeen."

He chuckles apologetically.

"I can't sleep." She says softly.

He hums thoughtfully, resting his arm atop the other on the table. "Why don't you take a seat and have a little chat with me?"

It takes her a while to process his words until she finally complies. She sits down across him, her eyes staring at his veiny hands. She imagines the feeling of holding his hand in hers. Will she finally feel secure?

"So, why can't you sleep, Sakura?" he asks.

Chills run up her spine when he said her name with his deep, light-hearted voice. She sinks her fingers in the skin of her thighs.

"I always never can sleep on my birthday. It's been that way for as long as I can remember."

There is a sudden dark glimmer in his eyes when he says, "Excited to being closer to death?"

Sakura looks at him funny, earning him a half-hearted laugh from him. His shoulders shake as he laughs.

"Wow, sensei, I didn't know you can be _that _dark." She smirks humorously.

"I'm sorry," he is still recovering from his laughter, "let me rephrase that." He balls his fist in front of his mouth and clears his throat. "Excited to be seventeen?"

Hatake-sensei's intent gaze on her makes her cheeks flush and the corner of her lips curl into a small smile.

"I don't know. Maybe."

He takes a sip on his coffee. Looking at him drink makes her realize how thirsty she is. Her throat is dry and her lips are chapped. She doesn't want to ask him to lend her some money. It doesn't feel right.

"Seventeen is a great time to have fun—a great time to skip classes before worrying about university entrance exams. Although, I suggest you not to do that since I'm your teacher and all." He chuckles to himself, crinkling his eyes. "Listen to me, I sound like an old man."

The way he speaks about being seventeen sounds so foreign that Sakura isn't capable of believing the words that came out of his mouth. His eyes seem distant the way he's looking through her, as if he's desperately trying to grasp onto something. Yet, she smiles politely and agrees that he is an old man.

A hearty chuckle escapes his lips. He makes a pained look, clutching the fabric above his chest. "Ouch."

She giggles.

"Being seventeen is really fun." He repeats, looking at the space above her head. Again, his words sound empty.

"So, why are you here, sensei? I mean, why near my neighborhood?" she asks after a moment of silence passed between them.

"I live in a condo nearby." He says. "I like to come here and have a cup of coffee when I can't sleep. It's the only place that opens at this hour _and _the only fast-food chain that serves coffee."

"I don't think coffee helps you sleep, sensei." She tilts her head slightly to one side.

Hatake-sensei smiles softly. "You're right, actually. It keeps me awake. I prefer keeping my eyes open at all times instead of closed for a few minutes or hours."

His smile disappears soon after he said those words. His sudden change of demeanor makes her come up with a topic to avert his discomfort. She holds herself from scratching the top of her head.

"I didn't know you live around here," she finally says.

"Not many students know where I live."

"Am I the only one?" she grins excitedly.

"You and another kid from class B. Just the two of you guys. No one else."

Even though she isn't the only one, still it makes her feel thrilled on the inside. She feels special to know one more personal thing from him.

Then she asks him where he went to university, following with a string of questions, such as the major he took and things like where he attended high school. His eyes crinkle as he smiles and gladly answers her questions, recounting the best days he had as a high school and college student.

Much to her surprise, he never slacked off during high school. He was more hardworking than any of his classmates. He took literature in university. He likes to read books and write poetry when he's not working or grading papers and tests. His favorite books are the Icha Icha series, which she knows very well since he liked to read it back when she used to help him grade tests. Aside from erotica, he likes reading mystery and horror novels.

She feels happy that they can talk normally like this again after everything that has happened. There was a great relief that erupted from deep within her chest as she listens to his stories and speaks when he asks her back about her childhood. They talk for hours without stopping. It seems they never run out of topics to talk about.

However, there is one topic he clearly wants to avoid: family. Sakura asks him about his family, but the saddening of his eyes makes her realize that it was probably a bad idea.

"I don't have a family." He simply said. A smile was plastered on his face, but it didn't reach his dark eyes.

She apologized softly.

In between talking, Hatake-sensei often runs his fingers through his messy silver hair. Sakura marvels at how graceful he seems. She wonders what it feels like to run her fingers through his hair. It seems to be as soft as silk. She has to hold her hand down to keep it from reaching his head.

Some time during their conversation, the rain gradually stops. They are too busy drowning in each other's sentences to notice the ceasing sound of rain dripping against the pavement.

It is a little past four by the time Sakura finally feels drowsy. She tells him that she needs to go home so she can sleep and wake up late. He persistently insists on walking her home, even though she had tried to assure him that she would be fine.

"Aren't you scared of getting raped?" he asks her, to which she immediately shuts her mouth.

In the end, she gives up and lets him walk her home. When they come out of the restaurant together, fewer cars pass by. They were probably returning back to the comfort of their homes from a wild night out downtown. She looks around, sniffing the air, and smiles to herself. There is something exquisite about the way the streets are after it has rained.

"Is it really okay for you to walk me home, sensei?" she asks.

"It's all right. I don't want anything to happen to my favorite student." He says in a singsong tone as he lowers the hood from her head to ruffle her hair.

His cheerfulness radiates and affects her throughout their walk. She is intoxicated by the great vibe he is emitting. She wants things with him to stay this way forever. She likes being affected by that feeling of a different kind of happiness when she's with him—it's the same feeling she gets when she visited Hinata.

"Thank you for walking me home, sensei," she thanks him shyly once they reach her gate.

"It's my pleasure, Sakura." He says with a broad smile on his face, bowing before her as if he is Prince Charming and she's the Princess.

She holds her hands behind her back. She slightly bows her head, hiding the bright shade of red tainted on her cheeks away from him. She's not about to go inside just yet.

"About what you said earlier…after the party…" she begins slowly. "What do you mean by that?"

There is a short pause from Hatake-sensei. Sakura bites her lower lip and brings herself to look at him in the eye. His face is unshaken, but his eyes tell her otherwise. He looks desperate to tell her _something_, but he's holding himself back. She softens her gaze at him, thinking it will help him to open up.

"I've hurt many people in my time, Sakura, and I don't want to repeat the same mistake with you." He lightly shrugs his shoulders. "But I did and it made me think that I'm not capable of making things right."

A million questions race around her head: one of them being if he has feelings for her.

"I some times don't see you as my student." He confesses as if he had read her mind, however it doesn't really answer the question she has.

"What do you mean by that, sensei?"

He remains unfazed, not even once does he takes his gaze away from her.

"What I mean is that you're someone different to me, Sakura. I care about you very much. And I'm sorry for hurting your feelings with how I acted around you."

She suddenly feels the warmth of his hand on the side of her face. His thumb lightly caresses her cheek. Her legs start to feel like jelly as she looks deeply into his dark eyes. His face is so close she can feel his breath on her.

"It's fine," she manages to say very softly, watching him slightly tilting his head to one side.

Slowly she closes her eyes, anticipating for their lips to touch. She feels his soft lips on the corner of hers. She freezes in place, indulging on the feeling of his lips close to hers. His other hand reaches for her neck to bring her closer to him, pulling his lips away from her, and she rests her face on his chest. Somehow, she never wants this to end.


End file.
